When I was 15, I decided I wanted to be a doctor.
My parents were thrilled, and honestly, so was I. It felt like the kind of goal you could proudly hang your entire future on — smart, respected, stable. I spent most of my teenage years working toward it, and when I got into university to study Medical Biochemistry, it felt like the plan was working.

Except… the closer I got, the more I realised it wasn’t really my plan anymore.

When the Dream Starts to Shift

I started university at 18 and quickly realised that while I loved the subject, I didn’t love what it was leading to. I learned I had a real fear of big needles (not ideal for someone considering medicine), and more than that, I began to question whether I actually wanted that life — or if I just didn’t want to disappoint anyone.Still, I stayed. I told myself I had to.
I’d invested so much already — my time, my energy, my parents’ hopes.

The Conversation That Changed Things

Then I met my boyfriend. Someone who, for the first time, helped me see how deeply I was living for other people’s expectations. He didn’t tell me what to do — he just reminded me I had a choice. That it was okay to admit I’d changed my mind.

It took everything in me to say it out loud — to myself first, and then to my family — but in my second year, I dropped out of university.

It was terrifying. It was freeing. It was the beginning of something new.

The Next Plan

After that, I did what a lot of people do: I got a job. A good one. Monday to Friday, 9 to 5.
And at first, it felt like a relief — structure, a paycheck, no exams.

But it didn’t take long to realise that this, too, wasn’t what I wanted.
I’d swapped one version of “expected success” for another.

🌱 What I’m Learning in the Messy Middle

Now at 23, I’m somewhere between the dreams I used to have and the life I’m trying to build. I don’t have a perfect plan — and that’s okay. What I do have is a better understanding of what I don’t want. And that’s a start.

I’m learning that:

• Letting go of an old dream isn’t failure — it’s growth.
  
• Your parents might not understand right away, and that’s okay.
  
• You’re allowed to change your mind — even after you’ve committed.
  
• You don’t need a five-year plan to build a life that feels like yours.

What’s Next?

Right now, I’m focusing on living slower, spending more time in my garden, cooking meals that make me happy, and writing honestly about the confusing in-between. I don’t have the career title yet, but I’m building a life that fits — one piece at a time.

If you’re also figuring things out, changing directions, or feeling unsure — you’re not alone. This blog is for us. The ones in progress.

Thanks for being here.

— Shakira